Love Lockdown

Truth is hard to swallow, so you pray to God to justify the way you live a lie, live a lie

Aw, what a day... School, work, people, school again... What a pain. It's just like I'm not getting any fun from going there. Seeing my friends does not compare to seeing the other ones -who're not particularly lighting my day- or so it seems. There's so much I want to tell them, so much I want to let out, but I can't say a word, because they just won't listen. Oh, yes, I'm just too straight-forward. Well of course that's why ! « Please, don't tell us what's wrong with us right in front of us because it's reaaally a bother. We just can't stand hearing the truth from your mouth, because you're like... totally different from us, you dare to make yourself a one-of-a-kind so whatever, anything you say just doesn't count. » Okay, fine with me. Just don't listen to me, that way I can still speak about it to people who're interested, without you complaining and insulting me.
Ow, life would be perfect right now, if it wasn't for those idiots. Well, anyway, I'll just ignore them. But if you could just leave me alone for a bit, I'd even thank you -maybe.
... Or maybe not that perfect. Exams are dangerously getting closer and I feel like I'm totally out of strength. No motivation for studying... Coming home, eating, studying, studying, sleeping, studying, going to school, having your nerves completely twisted... Aw, no, this is not for me... Maybe I should become buddhist, what do you think ? That seems like a good idea.
... Or maybe not that perfect at all. What was I thinking, "perfect" ! Am I dumb or what ? Whatever... Crap, why's it hard ? Why's it hard keeping it from getting into my mind everytime ? Why is it that when I want to think about something else, it creeps into my head ! Damn it, I didn't want it to become like that. It's like I'm some junkie who needs drugs ; I'm missing a thing too often. Want to know the worst part for me ? A saw our future. I saw it all. And I want it bad. I want it all. But I can't. And it's killing me. Maybe that's how it is. But you know what ? I want to say it. I want to shout it till my lungs are sore, that, yes, I think about it, yes, I miss it, yes I need some of it to be happy. It's just too late now.

Image : Tsukasa in Tokyo Crazy Paradise. Some Extra.