Someone's Gotta Go

You know that I love you so... I love you enough to let you go

Ouch... Four months is a bit... long. But I've been so busy, I kind of forgot to tell about my life. Exams, holidays, then university again, more people, laziness,... I don't know, it just slipped out of my mind. It's funny because, I almost always come here when I'm feeling down. Not that I'm on my knees or anything right now but I felt like writing ; moreover, it's been such a long time. Funny too because, it's especially when I need to talk about heartaches and stuff like that...

Basically, everything is all right, even perfect right now. But long term, I feel like I'm going to suffer -I, or we I mean. You know, it's going pretty well ; I'm feeling so good when I'm with him, I want to be with him all day, I think about him so often... It's different from the other times. Thinking about parting, it's making me feel so lost, I can't imagine being without him right now. I know it doesn't sound like me, and I realise it everyday, but that's how I feel.

I know I've got issues, but you're pretty messed up too
Either way I found out, I'm nothing without you
'Cause we belong together now, forever united here somehow, you got a piece of me, and honestly... My life would suck without you

However, we are so different. There's a side of him that I can't really agree with, or bear maybe. Another part of him is missing his friends that are away, the things he's done with them -go out all night, stuff like that-, and maybe the guy he was with them. He tells me he's fine with how he is now, because it's true that he has changed a lot, but I can't help but be afraid he is going to feel... "empty", maybe one day he will start thinking that he preferred how he was before...
Of course it's just me thinking too much but, you know, what can I do ? I can't help it. This side of him, I can't make it disappear -nor do I want to-, it partly makes him who he is.

He says he can't be « really himself » with me because of that side, even though he's really happy like that... But that's the reason why I can never be the one that knows him best, I can't be there for everything for him... And that hurts. It hurts a lot. It's scaring me, because almost every time we argue, it's over the same thing. I'm trying not to be too annoying but I can't help it either, I'm like that... A friend told me, « the only thing you can do is to accept the fact that you won't know him to the fullest and make the best of this ». And I know it's the only solution but... You know, it's hard. Because I love him so much...

I didn't come here to hurt you now, I can't stop...
And I want you to know, you couldn't have loved me better

From Goong.