All The Lights

How I wish that it would snow, now... I don't feel like going home, now, I wish that I could stay

Ow, man... How long has it been ? I feel like it's been months since last time... Well, it has been months. January... Is it already so far away ? Five months... Is it that long ? How quickly the time has passed. The strange thing is, you could think five months are pretty much long, but... I can still remember how I felt at the time. This is some weird thing to experience, you know ? Usually when you think about a few months back, you remember some vague points, maybe an event or something. But it's not the same here. Nothing looks blurry. Everything seems all clear in my mind ! The things I did, the facts, the moods, the feelings...
The good point is, I can reflet on everything with a little distance and think about it thoroughly. But sometimes it seems a little too close. Sometimes it the thoughts won't go away so that you have them in mind for too long and you feel guilty again -for a change...
Well whatever, "what's done is done" like they say. What use would it be to talk about it again ? But you -I think you might recognize yourself-, just know that I am still sorry I did this and you did that. You'll tell me about Australia huh ? -wink-

Let's talk about... Huh. The other one ? Nah, right now isn't really a good time. Not just today, but these days are not going as smoothly as before. How come ? I think it's mostly because of me. Maybe I'm really making too much comments, maybe I'm really lacking attention nowadays, maybe I changed from before ; I don't really know. What I know is that he might get tired of it sooner or later. But what can I do ? I don't know ! How can I change myself like that ? -Oh my does it sound like deja vu !- It's too quick, too sudden. But it's the thing I get problems with everytime. Affection. Duh ! Why is it always so important for others and less for me ? Is something wrong with my brain... ?
When I think I'm finally going to be happy, with a simple story, a nice person, it develops into some twisted relation. Why the heeeck... ? Men are definitely hard to understand, and they surely need time to grow up...

Now, I could talk about school or something, but I'm so damn tired that I could sleep while standing. Maybe I'll add a word or two tomorrow...