Sky And Sand

I find myself alive in the palm of your hand

September's now here, end of summer, end of holidays... Where did it go ?! Man, I'm going to college... College. Big word, big meaning, big changes. I can't believe I'll be into this only a week from now ! It's like... Real, but, not real. I really want to see how it is but at the same time I want to enjoy my easy life a little more. Well, it's here so, let's just wait for the big wave to come...
Sometimes I'm just wondering... Will I succeed ? Will I be one of the best ? Will I be one of the worst ? Will I get to be what I want to be in the future, have a nice carreer and all ? These are all normal questions about future, but I just can't help wondering...



Apart from that, what to say ? End of high school... Well I'm pretty proud I should say. I don't want to sound pretentious or anything but, getting two prices (history being the one I wanted !) and being over 80%, isn't that a nice score ? At least it made me feel relieved and happy with myself. And that's just what I wished for ! So it made me have a nice holiday.
To tell the truth, there's another reason why the holidays were this good. During the exams, I got to know someone, and you could say... it worked out pretty well ! It's been two months and a half, something like that, but it is just... What I want. What I need. I just feel it is the relationship I needed to mature, to grow a little more.
Of course, I'm not saying anything like "it's the man of my dreams, we'll get married someday" (oh hell no, how horribly sweet is this ?!) but I think it is just healthy, it feels nice, it is... complete. That's the word ! I feel complete with him. No reason to argue, just the urge to see each other and to be together.
Well, I must admit this urge is particularly visible now he's gone for a week (it's already been five days)... At times I feel like crying just because he's not here and I miss him. Okay, I admit I'm really tired these days and it has something to do with it for sure. But I really miss him. And it's hard to realise that it feels a little painful when he has a lot of fun and I'm stuck here at home. I mean, I'm not anywhere near jaleous, but... Come on. He's sleeping in the room with two girls ! I know they're just friends, and I totally trust him... It's just, inside. A lingering feeling I can't do anything about. It's a lot of firsts for him, and knowing he's living all this with her... is just kind of hard.

But... whatever. Who cares ? These are just my two a.m. thoughts anyway, so...



Oh, just another thing. He's probably not going to read this but, I'm rooting for you man, and like I said, if you need any support, just feel free to tell me. A lot has happened but I feel like you don't need any more argument or anything like that... So I feel sorry for you and I hope you'll feel better with the time... (imagine this with a smile on my face)



Emma, from the manga Emma. Sky And Sand, Paul Kalkbrener.